July ends tomorrow.

I got the results of my mock UPCAT today.

English: 92.00%
Math: FAIL 62.00%
Science: 78.00%

Average: 77.33%
Passing: 60.00%

The mock UPCAT is supposedly a notch harder than the actual UPCAT, and somewhat predictive. Therefore, I do not know how to feel. :|

August 2, Saturday, 6.30am, Institute of Chemistry
Here I come!

:|

And.

& I finally submitted my Ateneo essay, satisfied with its content. I posted it on my DevArt and Multiply. Here‘s the link to the former, for reference.

& The last day of First Aid Training is tomorrow. It’s all exams and practicals. If we don’t pass, we have to repeat the course. T___T I have to study bandaging more than the rest. And remember to let my elbows touch the floor during CPR.

& The UPCAT is in a week, and I feel so unprepared. One part is screaming for me to cram, the other’s feeling disincentivized because I won’t pass anyway. :| My mock UPCAT is on Sunday, from 8am to 12nn. I’m just going to read up on Science and review certain Math formulas. I wanna see how far I can go on stock knowledge, which is really the point of the entrance test.

& I was so out of it during Economics class. The heat was making me fall asleep. Good luck to me in college. :| Unless I go to DLSU. XD

& I received a letter today. It was addressed to my parents but it was only stapled closed so it wasn’t confidential. I peeked inside and chuckled. Math remedials, haller. :-h So bad at numbers, so very bad at numbers. In ten sessions, I’m expected to catch up. Game, let’s do this.

& I wonder if I have to take remedials for CSDC. I still don’t have vigilancia duties, and it’s been around two weeks since we started. :\ I don’t think I did that bad in my practicals. Did I? :| I got to cite the handbook and the implementing guidelines once, and I even got the number of reports question right. So, idk. I don’t want to take remedials since I have Math to think of and stuff, but I will if I have to. Sigh.

& I wanna work in advertising and marketing.

Deadliest deadline is Wednesday.

I just cried over my Ateneo essay
because it does not exist.

Sunday’s Checklist

[x] English: IW 1.35pm
[x] Physics: IW 3.00pm
[ ] Music: session test
[ ] Accounting: session test
[ ] THE: video editing
[ ] CL: prayer Will start on Wednesday instead. I’m leading the prayer next Monday, not this Friday. \:D/
[ ] CSDC: prayer Will work on this next Sunday instead, since I can submit anytime before July ends. (I’ll submit on the 31st huhuhuhu. X3)

[x] batch jacket design proposal 4.00pm
[ ] battle of the bands tarpaulin I started working on this already, and all I have to do is type up the details of the event. However, Photoshop is being uncooperative by shutting down randomly like the Flash in school, so I’ll really just have to finish this tomorrow. x___x
[ ] UPCAT review
[ ] ACET essay

Oh, honor the Sabbath day.

Free day, Friday

Our teachers are probably off being holy in their retreat right now. Me, I just woke up half an hour ago. I’m blissful, but I’m not exactly looking forward to this day.

At the insistence of my parents, I restart my voice lessons today at 3pm. It’s such a hassle. >_< I needed to go to Nina’s house to tape our THE infomercial, but I guess that plan is foiled. In any case, I told both her and Cara that I’d love to do the video editing. Because honestly, I really would. X)

Since I’ll be stuck at home for the better part of the day, I’m going to read the reviewers from Sir Joel and my LSC books. With two weeks to go til the UPCAT, I’m doing all I can do to not panic. The back of my mind is racing and reeling, the red alert alarm blaring deafeningly. It’s just like that episode of Spongebob where he only knew fine dining and breathing, and all the little Spongebobs began to panic because they realized that they threw out his name.

Aside from reading for the UPCAT, I also have a senior’s responsibilities to fulfill. If there’s one thing I can’t neglect, it’s my schoolwork. I really need to show drastic improvement this year. It’ll be my strongest argument for when the time to appeal comes around. I have to finish to lay out three IW cards so I can finish them in school next week, begin writing my prayers for both CL and CSDC, doodle a jacket design, and moar moar moar.

I should probably devote an hour or two today for my Ateneo essay. I need to start drafting it, at the very least, so I can send it to people for critique, giving them ample time to read and I to revise. “Are there any significant experiences you have had or accomplishments you have realized that have helped to define you as a person?” Well, I’ll find out tonight. Before I begin to write with the intention of letting the panel know more about me, I think should first know more about myself.

Huh. Not exactly a free day, after all.

I consider our present sufferings insignificant
compared to the glory that will soon be revealed to us.
(Romans 8:18)

Dear friends, don’t be surprised by the fiery troubles
that are coming in order to test you.
Don’t feel as though something strange is happening to you,
but be happy as you share Christ’s sufferings.
Then you will also be full of joy when he appears again in his glory.
(I Peter 4:12-13)

Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them:
because greater is He that is in you,
than he that is in the world.
(1 John 4:4)

AMEN LORD AMEN.
I’m ready ad infinitum.

Green-minded?

I’m reading more about DLSU, their College of Business and Economics. The solidity of their curriculum and well-roundedness is inspiring and exciting. No one can deny that DLSU is the school for business, in the same vein that Ateneo is the school for law and UST is the school for medicine. (UP? Well, it’s the school. @___@)

If I were to be accepted into DLSU, I’d love to double degree in Economics and Advertising/Business/Legal Management. A single degree in Applied Economics would make me very happy as well. Either way, I am satisfied with my choices and confident in the thoroughness of my (future) education.

I really don’t know what I’m talking about, actually.

I want to go to La Salle. I also want to go to Ateneo. I also want to go to UP. I want to go everywhere.

I want to go to college. o_______o

EDIT: I just noticed that the titles of my last four entries began with the letter D. o_______o

Dear Toni.

Hi Toni. :-h

Drained.

I took my Filipino and Physics tests today. I think I did fine in Filipino, at least during the first four parts of the test. The fifth and last part of the test was poetry writing, four stanzas of four lines each. It had to be biographical, sociological, and symbolical all at the same time. :O In the end, I wrote about a doll of mine. I lacked the time to finish one stanza. I know that’ll be taken against me. I’m fine with that, I guess. I was really struggling for vocabulary. I’m hopeful for a G or a VG, and that VG’s really hoping.

Physics is a different story entirely. It only covered significant features, conversion of units and SOHCAHTOA. That should’ve been a good thing, but I blanked out. I knew what to do, I really did, but I didn’t know how to properly input the data on my scientific calculator. How messed up is that? I felt so stupid.

I don’t know what to do. I know my Physics concepts, but why do I screw up whenever I try to apply them? I mean, I already had a calculator. I have no skills at all. :(( I’m going to approach Sir Ron come Monday. I really need extra help. I have to jolt my brain into arranging itself before the meat of Physics comes up. Otherwise, I die. :| All my quizzes came back as U’s. I really need to talk to him. I was talking to Sir Mike about teachers holding consultations, and he said, “What’s there to consult? It’s only the second session.” Between Physics and myself, a lot. :|

Another subject I need to work on is Trig. I’m having a hard time with it, but I don’t think I’ll go to Ms. Helma just yet. My difficulty roots from the fact that I haven’t memorized the arcs and coordinates of the unit circle. I’ll do my memory crunches rigorously, and if I’m still having a hard time, that’s when I’ll go to her.

I hate being bad at math. I hate being bad with numbers in general. I hear a lot about the multiple intelligences and I agree with their theories, sure. But studying for the entrance tests, and a number of senior year subjects in general, shows the prominence and necessity of logical-mathematical intelligence over linguistic intelligence and musical intelligence. Logical-mathematical intelligence doesn’t only cover math and numbers, but it reflects one’s skill at critical thinking, argumentation, analysis and the like. My lack of which, I believe, is part of the reason why I failed at debate. (The other part was a lack of self-confidence.) I was always too subjective, so grounded on marshmallow soil. I could’ve never survived the high school politics. A salute to Elise and the rest of the team for all their achievements to date.

I’ve often thought of myself as only having half a right brain, and an occasional left brain. My IQ’s nothing special, and my EQ says that I have the leadership potential of a pile of newspapers. Yet, I look at myself with hope. Maybe, just maybe, I might have something that’ll give me a notch up on others. Maybe, just maybe, I can use it to my advantage when I finally discover what it is. Maybe, just maybe, I can get by.

Is it possible to feel humiliatingly stupid but not entirely unintelligent, at the same time? It sounds like such a paradox, but I shall willingly testify to the veracity of this statement.

Done! :D

I finished studying for the Physics and Filipino tests, just as I said I would in my entry almost three hours earlier. :D At least, I studied as much as I could until it felt almost redundant to read the same page for the nth time. The coverage of these tests is pretty small, especially Filipino since Sir Sonny decided not to include the short stories we’ve discussed in class or grammar. Physics will be the greater challenge for me between the two, though it won’t be an easy task to ace both of them in the first place.

Speaking of Physics, I also accomplished my Physics homework. ^_^

I doodled a caricature of the route to Trinoma, with PHYSICS in chunky gray lettering superimposed on it. It’s one of the most pitiful things I’ve done to date. I’ll just make an impeccable table of vectors tomorrow morning. At least it’ll also help me practice my tan and tan-1.

I still don’t know how to use tan and tan-1, though. I texted Alexa and she said something about tan becoming tan-1 when it moves to the other side of the equation, but I didn’t get it. D:

I hope I grasp these concepts eventually, sooner rather than later. I don’t remember being this slow, and I honestly don’t think I am.

I’m going to buy myself a small tin of Enervon Prime tomorrow. That’s how worried I am. And a good example of why this dorky little blog is dorky. :|

Distracted.

I had this habit of letting my mind wander too far from the present. I think that’s what I didn’t do so well in my last three years of high school. I spent most of my time constructing and reconstructing my ideal future instead of working towards it. It was distracting and unproductive.

I’m distracted now. My thoughts and apprehensions on college life are distracting me from the standard responsibilities of an average senior. I should be reviewing for tomorrow’s tests in Physics and Filipino, but I’ve been spacing out. My eyes unfocused on an unseen point, I’ve been creating a rough draft of my Ateneo essay in my head. I don’t even know what to write about yet, I’m just taking note of nice, general phrases to use when the time of actual writing comes. It’s “productive” if you twist the definition of productivity and squint a little, but I know that studying for my Physics and Filipino tests would be more useful to my short-term and long-term needs.

I should really study for these tests. I didn’t study for the last 2fer session tests I had, English and Economics. The night before those tests was the night I got Guitar Hero: On Tour, so I was too into the giddy geek role to play a student. I received my scores today. I got a G and VG respectively. They’re not bad marks, but their sub par to the standards expected of me and the standards I’ve set for myself. (I especially wanted to do well in my Economics test, since a lot of the courses I’m considering are grounded in economics.)

Tomorrow’s another 2fer, and I intend to do well in them both. I’m a bit worried for Physics, since I still don’t know how to apply the trigonometric function of tan and tan-1. I will ask for help tomorrow. I have to master these concepts at the same pace as the rest of my class – my class is really smart, I hate it. :| – and while it’s still being taught at present. I don’t want to make the same mistake I made in Chemistry.

Bottom line is, kidsgbishghfjosjdoakjofjofsdlsnsdonsfonlncsznovns.

Hey baby, what’s your sign?
Opposite over hypotenuse. :>