Senioritis!

I’m feelin’ it crashing over my like large, lazy waves. Emphasis on lazy.

With the UPCAT already over and my ACET forms already in Ateneo, it’s as if I could care less about the rest. I didn’t submit a form to UST anymore, and my DLSU and UA&P forms are still pristine and blank. I seem like I’m dead set to go for DLSU, but really, I just want to go to college. Emphasis on I just want to go to college.

These days, it’s been sabpag this and sabpag that. Sabayang Pagbigkas, and miraculously, I’m at the forefront of its development. :O Alexa, Raizel and I have been zipping around in preparation of this. Plotting out our practice schedules and agendas for those practices, it’s as if the poem grows longer and longer and longer. ._______. I’m the worst at memorization, so more points of pressure on me to be a good example. Durgh.

I have an Economics session test tomorrow. It’s two sessions combined, so it’s everything about Supply&Demand and Elasticity. I’m more or less well-versed here already, I just have to memorize the four standard thingies on the shifting of graphs and the formula for computing this thing that I have to remember. I sound like such a failure, but whatever. >___< Other than that, I’m pretty much dandy. I should be worried, I think. Or at least not so lax. After all, Economics is prevalent in my course choices. Which is weird, because I’m me. :|

The weeks ahead are going to prove challenging, and I really pray for the physical strength to get by. I’ve been having these wicked stomach pains since Sunday. It usually starts out with intense hunger, where my heart begins to race and I begin to tremble. Getting to sustenance is often an ordeal. Once I get my shaking hands on some food, I eat as if I were starved for an indefinite period of time. I just stuff it down my throat, barely enjoying the taste, just to get food in my stomach. My stomach aches after that, but I guess it’s because of how fast I ate? The strange thing is, after less than an hour, the hunger pangs begin to act up again. Sometimes I can’t help but sleep it off, it’s a sharp pain that extends up to my throat. When I get home, the same thing happens again. Late at night, I have to get up for a crap. A stinky crap. And then I sleep a tired sleep and I wake up tired and well, it’s really the same thing. I was talking to Bel (Hi, Bel. :-h) about it, and she thinks it’s a worm. That sounds plausible, but I really don’t have time to get it checked out. It’ll cause unnecessary stress for everyone – my eternally paranoid grandmother, most especially – and take precious time out of my schedule. I just hope this comes to pass soon enough. I can’t get sick(er).

A big huhuhuhuu at my life right now. Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu. T_______T

And.

& I finally submitted my Ateneo essay, satisfied with its content. I posted it on my DevArt and Multiply. Here‘s the link to the former, for reference.

& The last day of First Aid Training is tomorrow. It’s all exams and practicals. If we don’t pass, we have to repeat the course. T___T I have to study bandaging more than the rest. And remember to let my elbows touch the floor during CPR.

& The UPCAT is in a week, and I feel so unprepared. One part is screaming for me to cram, the other’s feeling disincentivized because I won’t pass anyway. :| My mock UPCAT is on Sunday, from 8am to 12nn. I’m just going to read up on Science and review certain Math formulas. I wanna see how far I can go on stock knowledge, which is really the point of the entrance test.

& I was so out of it during Economics class. The heat was making me fall asleep. Good luck to me in college. :| Unless I go to DLSU. XD

& I received a letter today. It was addressed to my parents but it was only stapled closed so it wasn’t confidential. I peeked inside and chuckled. Math remedials, haller. :-h So bad at numbers, so very bad at numbers. In ten sessions, I’m expected to catch up. Game, let’s do this.

& I wonder if I have to take remedials for CSDC. I still don’t have vigilancia duties, and it’s been around two weeks since we started. :\ I don’t think I did that bad in my practicals. Did I? :| I got to cite the handbook and the implementing guidelines once, and I even got the number of reports question right. So, idk. I don’t want to take remedials since I have Math to think of and stuff, but I will if I have to. Sigh.

& I wanna work in advertising and marketing.

Distracted.

I had this habit of letting my mind wander too far from the present. I think that’s what I didn’t do so well in my last three years of high school. I spent most of my time constructing and reconstructing my ideal future instead of working towards it. It was distracting and unproductive.

I’m distracted now. My thoughts and apprehensions on college life are distracting me from the standard responsibilities of an average senior. I should be reviewing for tomorrow’s tests in Physics and Filipino, but I’ve been spacing out. My eyes unfocused on an unseen point, I’ve been creating a rough draft of my Ateneo essay in my head. I don’t even know what to write about yet, I’m just taking note of nice, general phrases to use when the time of actual writing comes. It’s “productive” if you twist the definition of productivity and squint a little, but I know that studying for my Physics and Filipino tests would be more useful to my short-term and long-term needs.

I should really study for these tests. I didn’t study for the last 2fer session tests I had, English and Economics. The night before those tests was the night I got Guitar Hero: On Tour, so I was too into the giddy geek role to play a student. I received my scores today. I got a G and VG respectively. They’re not bad marks, but their sub par to the standards expected of me and the standards I’ve set for myself. (I especially wanted to do well in my Economics test, since a lot of the courses I’m considering are grounded in economics.)

Tomorrow’s another 2fer, and I intend to do well in them both. I’m a bit worried for Physics, since I still don’t know how to apply the trigonometric function of tan and tan-1. I will ask for help tomorrow. I have to master these concepts at the same pace as the rest of my class – my class is really smart, I hate it. :| – and while it’s still being taught at present. I don’t want to make the same mistake I made in Chemistry.

Bottom line is, kidsgbishghfjosjdoakjofjofsdlsnsdonsfonlncsznovns.

Hey baby, what’s your sign?
Opposite over hypotenuse. :>