Weekend of Doom

September 8: Trig session test, Physics Lab practical test
September 8 – 9: Last two days of IW
September 10-12: First Trimestral Exams
September 13: ACET

… How sadistic is that? :|

This weekend is crucial to my academic dignity. I have four IW cards, eleven/nine trimestral exams and one majorly big college entrance test to pass, pass, pass. I must not buckle.

T_______T

I’m nervous for the ACET. I don’t feel prepared. I’m a failure at Math. I can BS my way through English, but I’m just totally worried about the Math. I have a mock ACET tomorrow, though. It might as well be my only real review before the actual ACET. I almost forgot about it. I shall remind my parents so they can arrange my ride. Huhuhu. :|

My brain, it melts.

What’s the word?
That’s the word!

What’s the time?
4D last time!

Aww.

4D WIN!

We used to be a square, now we’re an octagon.
4D just got edgier!

I love my pussycat dolls and soulja boys. 83

I haven’t blogged all this week. It’s been sabayang pagbigkas practice day in and day out. I don’t mind, really. I love hanging out with my class. Tomorrow’s practice won’t be at my house though, it’ll be at Raizel’s. I don’t know what to expect since the environment definitely won’t be as liberal as my house – goodbye boisterous yelling and Cruel Intentions 3 – but I guess I’m finally getting my wish of getting out of my house. Note to self: Be careful what you wish for. >_<

I’m stuck with the problem of transporting all our props to Raizel’s tomorrow. Good luck to me, our props are a little bit bigger than life-sized. T___T

Not to mention that I haven’t done anything academic this past week. I haven’t started on the pile of homework given to us – come to think of it, I don’t even think I have the complete list :| – nor have I done any reviewing for the ACET. I’m in the second batch of the first day. I forgot to take note of the exact details, but they’re posted on our bulletin board. ACET math is supposedly the hardest math of all the college entrance tests, so it will definitely be the death of me who’s oh so bad at numbers. I think Logical and Abstract Reasoning will kill me too, but my mom said she’d help me with these techniques she learned at law school, a place where, according to both my parents, I will eventually set foot in. (Set foot in, in this context, means to sink into slowly and painfully, like quicksand.)

I put Legal Management as my first choice, and I do not have any course choices in the School of Humanities. Surprised? Me too. If I pass the Ateneo, I wish to shift into a course at either the School of Humanities or the School of Social Sciences. As god as my witness, I do not want to be a lawyer. I really, really don’t. T__T

I can play a lawyer on a top-rated soap opera, though. XD

And.

& I finally submitted my Ateneo essay, satisfied with its content. I posted it on my DevArt and Multiply. Here‘s the link to the former, for reference.

& The last day of First Aid Training is tomorrow. It’s all exams and practicals. If we don’t pass, we have to repeat the course. T___T I have to study bandaging more than the rest. And remember to let my elbows touch the floor during CPR.

& The UPCAT is in a week, and I feel so unprepared. One part is screaming for me to cram, the other’s feeling disincentivized because I won’t pass anyway. :| My mock UPCAT is on Sunday, from 8am to 12nn. I’m just going to read up on Science and review certain Math formulas. I wanna see how far I can go on stock knowledge, which is really the point of the entrance test.

& I was so out of it during Economics class. The heat was making me fall asleep. Good luck to me in college. :| Unless I go to DLSU. XD

& I received a letter today. It was addressed to my parents but it was only stapled closed so it wasn’t confidential. I peeked inside and chuckled. Math remedials, haller. :-h So bad at numbers, so very bad at numbers. In ten sessions, I’m expected to catch up. Game, let’s do this.

& I wonder if I have to take remedials for CSDC. I still don’t have vigilancia duties, and it’s been around two weeks since we started. :\ I don’t think I did that bad in my practicals. Did I? :| I got to cite the handbook and the implementing guidelines once, and I even got the number of reports question right. So, idk. I don’t want to take remedials since I have Math to think of and stuff, but I will if I have to. Sigh.

& I wanna work in advertising and marketing.

Drained.

I took my Filipino and Physics tests today. I think I did fine in Filipino, at least during the first four parts of the test. The fifth and last part of the test was poetry writing, four stanzas of four lines each. It had to be biographical, sociological, and symbolical all at the same time. :O In the end, I wrote about a doll of mine. I lacked the time to finish one stanza. I know that’ll be taken against me. I’m fine with that, I guess. I was really struggling for vocabulary. I’m hopeful for a G or a VG, and that VG’s really hoping.

Physics is a different story entirely. It only covered significant features, conversion of units and SOHCAHTOA. That should’ve been a good thing, but I blanked out. I knew what to do, I really did, but I didn’t know how to properly input the data on my scientific calculator. How messed up is that? I felt so stupid.

I don’t know what to do. I know my Physics concepts, but why do I screw up whenever I try to apply them? I mean, I already had a calculator. I have no skills at all. :(( I’m going to approach Sir Ron come Monday. I really need extra help. I have to jolt my brain into arranging itself before the meat of Physics comes up. Otherwise, I die. :| All my quizzes came back as U’s. I really need to talk to him. I was talking to Sir Mike about teachers holding consultations, and he said, “What’s there to consult? It’s only the second session.” Between Physics and myself, a lot. :|

Another subject I need to work on is Trig. I’m having a hard time with it, but I don’t think I’ll go to Ms. Helma just yet. My difficulty roots from the fact that I haven’t memorized the arcs and coordinates of the unit circle. I’ll do my memory crunches rigorously, and if I’m still having a hard time, that’s when I’ll go to her.

I hate being bad at math. I hate being bad with numbers in general. I hear a lot about the multiple intelligences and I agree with their theories, sure. But studying for the entrance tests, and a number of senior year subjects in general, shows the prominence and necessity of logical-mathematical intelligence over linguistic intelligence and musical intelligence. Logical-mathematical intelligence doesn’t only cover math and numbers, but it reflects one’s skill at critical thinking, argumentation, analysis and the like. My lack of which, I believe, is part of the reason why I failed at debate. (The other part was a lack of self-confidence.) I was always too subjective, so grounded on marshmallow soil. I could’ve never survived the high school politics. A salute to Elise and the rest of the team for all their achievements to date.

I’ve often thought of myself as only having half a right brain, and an occasional left brain. My IQ’s nothing special, and my EQ says that I have the leadership potential of a pile of newspapers. Yet, I look at myself with hope. Maybe, just maybe, I might have something that’ll give me a notch up on others. Maybe, just maybe, I can use it to my advantage when I finally discover what it is. Maybe, just maybe, I can get by.

Is it possible to feel humiliatingly stupid but not entirely unintelligent, at the same time? It sounds like such a paradox, but I shall willingly testify to the veracity of this statement.